Nabila

Today is December 6, 2015.

It means it has been 10 days since we left Imbak Canyon a.k.a. ICCA.

Actually 2 weeks before we went to ICCA, my Pa told me that we were going there and I was super frustrated. Why? Because I was already too tired with school stuff and I loathed outdoor activities. But nothing could ever change the fact that I would join the program. We (the participants) went there on November 22, 2015. This program was organized by Kelab Pencinta Alam Sabah (KPAS) and the program's name was Kursus Orientasi Alam Sekitar (KOAS) that now had been the 57th time.

And the miraculous journey begun.

Exactly on 13 November, we were told that again, we needed to go to KK. When I got to know it, I felt the tired feeling crept into me. But when I know the venue of the program is at One Borneo Mall, guess who got overjoyed? Not me, but yes, I did feel happy about it. Imagine, this year, we (me and some of my classmates) went to KK half a dozen of times already and no matter how hard we plan to go to One Borneo, we were never there. And this time, we are at One Borneo for a day!


The events.

We went there by a huge green express bus. It was a new experience for me, I never went anywhere too far using a huge express bus. At first, I was excited because the bus was so grand (or so I thought). But when I start to feel nauseous, I took my words back. It was horrible! Even watching Cinta Paling Agung couldn't distract myself from my nauseousness.

Around 9 AM, we finally arrived with the nauseousness that is still there. Oh, the program that we joined was National Science Festival (how can I seriously forget to mention that?). Our nawaitu when we went there wasn't actually right. Right after we entered the mall, we already planned how can we shopping around the mall without being so obvious. Not exactly the right actions for supposedly a group of good students but you only live once. It's okay not to follow rules sometimes. 

Just because our main reason of going to the venue was to shop and eat a lot of good foods, it doesn't mean that we didn't participate in the program. It would be such a waste if we went there just to shop. Hence, we join some competition. And I joined the competition to build a skeleton. It was fun and we enjoyed it so much, not even thinking whether we would win or not. But we won the 3rd out of 7 place! We were hella surprised.

We were having the time of our lives. The program was fun, and the shopping was even more fun. And yes, we bought a lot of good foods as if we'll never eat foods that good again (and this is so not true).


What Not To Do When You Lost Your Phone:

Before I tell you the not to do(s), I'll tell you the behind the scene of my supposedly missing phone. We were having the time of our lives before we went to pray at the surau. We left our bags at the venue and let some of our friends took care of the bags. After we had done praying, we went straight to the bus because it was about time we return to Ranau. And then, I checked my bag for my phone to check if my Ma left any message. It. Wasn't. Anywhere. In. My. Bag. I panicked, and told the person in charge that I would go back to the mall just to check whether I left my phone there. She said okay.

I checked everywhere and there was nothing. I started to cry. Not caring who was being my audience of my pathetic-crying-as-if-I-lost-my-love-of-life scene, I cried. And when our guy friends told me the express bus had already left, I cried louder. It didn't create a scene, since they told us that at the quiet parking lot.

However, I felt so grateful that the van did not leave yet. At least, we could return to Ranau (even when my friend and I are the only girls in the van. The rest other were boys).

So, what not to do when you lost your phone?

• Being too panicked that you didn't check all of your bags thoroughly. Guess where did I find my precious phone? It was in my other bag. Safe and sound. It was so embarrassing, all the crying for nothing.
• Giving your phone number to the person in charge and not re-checking it. Because when the person in charge tried to call my phone, a person answered the call and the sound of rooster making its sound was the soundtrack of that phone call. Yes, you read me right. The sound of rooster.
• Crying when you're panicked. This cause people around you to panic as well.

Love,
Pyps. xoxoxoxoxoox

The dreadful week finally ended, alhamdulillah. The day where I can finally sleep with a light head and not much on my mind finally came. I finally can do all the things that I planned to do since the start of the year. Except. I can't. I just started my k-drama marathon but I had to stop it. Why? Because my beloved school already planned a lot of things for us, the form 3 student. Come on, I need a break too *internally crying and screaming*.

What I planned to do after PT3 ended: watch tons of k-dramas and movies, read a lot of books, learn to play guitar, learn to cook some dishes.

What my school planned for us:


01. Kem Jati Diri (Identity Camp?)

This program already ended. It started the day after PT3 ended, and ended yesterday. It's simply a camp where we were trained by soldiers in order to be disciplined, cooperative and wise in doing things. As simple as it sounds, it was tiring. Hella tiring. Now my face is sunburned, and my body is aching all over. We did jungle trekking, march training, explore race and a lot of things. Sure, it was tiring, but it was fun as well. We did a lot of things together as a batch and it was really fun.


02. Studying some form 4 subjects.

I don't know yet which subject we will be studying, but I'm just not ready yet. I don't want to study just yet, this should be the time I relax my mind *internally crying again*.


03. just a lot of things...

Sukaneka, public speaking, spelling bee competition, and jamuan (this one I love).

me.

Can there be an autumn season in Malaysia pretty please (wink wink)

October is 3 days to go,
But the September's air starts to smell like October's now.
I don't know why I get too emotional today.

I don't want the time to pass.
I don't want to grow older, though some people said that the years as a teenager are the worst.
I don't wanna leave September.
I don't wanna leave 2015 (too early).

"Ahem. Yeah September is going to end so you should probably go study right now. PT3 is 2 weeks to go darling."
-Pypaa's Alter Ego

Of course I know that. A little procrastination won't hurt, right?



Love,
Pyps. xoxo

I never have any love relationship breakup as I have never been in a relationship with anyone. There, you just know a fact about me. Some people might say "Lucky you" to me but another fun fact about me: I had a lot of friendship breakups. I don't have any ex-boyfriend, but I have tons of ex-best friends. And I think having ex-best friends are more dangerous than ex-boyfriend because they know a lot of secrets of mine. I'll tell you when I change my mind.

I've always dreamed the books and movies kind of friendships. The kind that lasts forever until my hair is gray, my grandchildren know their grandchildren, and we'll die together (wow I'm too ambitious). But here's a fact: they are fictional. In our life, people will always come and go like the wind. I had read somewhere about not being compatible with each other anymore or something like that. Hence the need to come and go.

However, it might be possible to maintain a friendship for a long time if you put a lot of efforts into it. Everything needs some efforts to succeed. I'm not giving the best advice to survive friendship because I don't know what the best advice is. I read a lot of 'how to maintain a friendship' articles and tried a lot of them, but here I am, with a lot of broken friendships behind me. I'm only writing based on my experiences and my observation.


#1: Don't just focus on you.

It is okay to vent our problems and thoughts to our friends, they are our friends for a lot of reasons and this is one of them; we need a listener. However, don't forget that in a friendship, every person involved should be a listener. The point here is, keep the sharing equal. We shouldn't hog the time with only our problems. When they want to talk about something, listen to them. Don't only focus on our life, problems and thoughts, show interest in theirs too.


#2: Don't gossip.

I think that everyone on Earth know this, or at least heard of this.
When we are in a friendship, the other person in the friendship will put their trust on us. We will share a lot of secrets-the good and the bad. We will share personal stories and the stories should be kept within us and never shared with anyone outside of the friendship. Once trust is broken, it will be hard to be gained. Some people never even get the chance to gain it again.


#3: When we face a problem in the friendship, solve it ourselves.

It is okay to talk to anyone (your family, the people you trust) when you're facing a problem in the friendship. But it is not okay at all to ask anyone to solve the problem for us. Not even our family. The one who is in the friendship is us, not anyone. It's not in their place to solve the problem. This will only worsen the situation. Confront our friend and talk it out.


#4: If we don't agree about what they did, talk about it.

Don't backbite our friend for what they did wrong. If we're dissatisfied by something they did, we should confront them instead of talking trash behind them. We should also never leave them when they do wrong. People aren't a pakai buang thing. When they seemed perfect, we stay with them. When they show a lot of imperfections, we should still stay. Life is a journey of becoming a better person each day, and we should try to help them instead of throwing them away. Imagine yourself in their place before you decide to just leave them.


#5: Open our eyes and try to see our mistakes.

Before, when a friendship ends, I would find myself blaming them. Lets face the truth: we had our fair share of mistakes (unless you're always bullied in the 'friendship'). It is really unfair to put the blame on their side if you also did some mistakes in the friendship. When we say that "nobody's perfect", we should realize that everyone else is also a human and they aren't perfect. When they do something wrong, note that we also did something wrong, because we're not perfect. If we're the first one to note this, be the bigger one to say sorry.


The advice I gave weren't the best ones, as I only write them based on what I see and what I experienced in my almost 15 years life. I hope that some friendships in the world can be maintained by these tips. If I can't be the one who has the book/movie kind of long-lasting friendships, you should be the one.

I'm sorry if I wrote something wrong in this entry, but I hope you earned something from here.
Thanks for reading! :)

True friendship multiplies the good in life and divides its evils. Strive to have friends, for life without friends is like life on desert island... to find real friend in a lifetime is good fortune; to keep him is a blessing. - Baltasar Gracian

 Lots of love,
Pypaa. xoxo

On the surface:

This movie is based on a the best-selling novel, If I Stay by Gayle Forman. Starring Chloë Grace Moretz as Mia Hall, the main character, this story is about Mia who has been in a car accident and is now having an out-body experience. This story is about her deciding whether her body will live or die when a lot of things in her life have changed. There are a lot of flashback to before the car accident happened to show how much her life has changed and mostly the flashbacks contain Adam, a boy in a band who Mia is so in love with. Maybe on the surface, it sounds like a simple love story but truthfully, this is a heartwrenching story about family, friends, love and choices that people make.


My thoughts on this movie:

I haven't read the book yet, but I heard mixed reviews about it. Probably I'll read it someday. I was interested to watch this movie because Chloe is in it and I'm a fan of her. I already saw some of her movies (Let Me In, Hugo, Carrie) and I loved her acting in those movies. This movie also stars Jamie Blackley, which is obviously attractive looking and not to mention, he has a nice voice. He sang for some of the movie soundtracks and they were amazing. It's also one of the reasons I watched this movie; it's musical-ish and there's nothing I love more than a movie with some good soundtracks.

I already watched movies about out-body experience before, and this movie isn't really the best but it's good. This movie doesn't show much about her out-body experience, it was mostly flashbacks. However, there were a lot of scenes that manage to tear my heart during her out-body experience; when people visit her and tell her things about her family, or tell them what they feel about letting her go, it broke my heart.

Plot-wise, a lot of things from this movie were expectable. It's your typical teenage romance movie; there was falling in love, fighting, making up, fighting again, typical. The thing from this movie that engaged people was to see what Mia decides to do; to stay or go. For me personally, this was an okay movie. It wasn't bad but it wasn't that it-was-so-amazing-that-I-question-my-life-after-watching-the-movie type of movie. It was sad, tragic and heartbreaking but it wasn't a movie you'll think about out of the blue someday.


Rating: ★★★☆☆


Here's the trailer if you're interested:

I was one of those people who will do almost anything to make people around me love me. Even if I really didn't want to do the things, I would still do it, because in my mind, these people might love me if I do what they want and satisfy their desires. Guess what? Even after years I tried to make some people satisfied with me, they still chose to go and leave me. It was heartbreaking, of course. The people you thought you would spend the rest of your life hanging out with suddenly just decided that you're not in their lives anymore.

My point today is, no matter how much you try to satisfy people and make them love you, some people will always see that one flaw of yours and suddenly they don't love you anymore. But we, humans, are not perfect. We're flawed. We do mistakes from time to time. Even people who try to hide their flaws still accidentally show their flaws sometimes. Being a flawed person isn't really a big deal, it's natural for us humans. We're not prophets. As long as we learn from our mistakes and try not to repeat the same mistakes, it's fine.

How to make everyone love you? You don't. There are some people who will love you no matter how flawed you are and how many mistakes you have done. If you have found those people right now, give more efforts to appreciate those people instead of trying to make other people love you. If you haven't, please know that you're not unlovable. You're just as lovable as everyone else. You will find someone who will love you for who you are. And when you found that person, cherish them.

And please note that this isn't a post that encourages you to just make mistakes unapologetically, I'm just saying that no matter how much you try to satisfy people, you can't satisfy everyone. When people criticize you, yes, it will hurt your pride and ego. But try to practice the buang yang keruh ambil yang jernih (ignore the negative and take the positive) practise when people criticize you. Not every critics are hate comments, guys. When you see something positive in someone's critic, take it to be a better person. Life is also about your inner development. And maybe some people who criticize you can help you with that.


These are just my 2 cents. If you have your own thought about this, do share in the comment section below. I would love to hear it!

If only we can just scream "shut up!" to our brain when we're thinking too much, whether it's about serious or not serious things. When your brain keeps showing you things that make you think so much, how can you even sleep? It's 10:20 PM and I'm gonna go to school tomorrow, seriously, I wish I can just ignore about the things in my mind and just sleep.

Like, is it necessary to think about things that happened several years ago? It's a weeknight, this is not the time for reminiscing.


Oh and I'm currently listening to: One Direction - Change My Mind