Nabila

We can all be both masterpieces, and work in progress, at the same time.

We can all have fears, and vulnerabilities, and insecurities, and anxieties and at the same time, we should still be able to recognise and celebrate what makes us amazing. That, despite our struggles, and our flaws, we should still be standing tall today, proud of how far we have come, and reminding each of our awesomeness.

Because flowers need time to bloom. So do you.

BLURB: A marvel: something you find amazing. Even ordinary-amazing. Like potatoes—because they make French fries happen. Like the perfect fries Adam and his mom used to make together.

Maybe that’s what living is—recognizing the marvels and oddities around you.

Title: Love From A to Z
Author: S.K. Ali
Publication: April 30th 2019 by Salaam Reads
Pages: 384
Genre: YA, contemporary, romance
Reading Format: E-book
Standalone / Series

First of all, I want to praise S.K. Ali for always writing books with a wonderful and honest representation of the Muslim community. Saints and Misfits, her previous book, is already in my all-time-favourite book list and this one managed to be in the list too. There are so many things that I love about this book and I don't know which one I should begin talking about...

This book managed to tackle some important issues but at the same time, it still felt like a very breezy romance book. I don't know how authors do this but they have the magic to have a light and fun narrative while discussing important issues and for this book, behind the cute love story between Adam and Zayneb, there is a very angry girl who's trying to fight Islamophobia thrown in her way and there is a boy hiding his multiple sclerosis from his family. These are important issues to be discussed and the author managed to do so in a light tone. Magical!

Love from A to Z shows me how it feels to live as a Muslim when you're a part of a minority group and most of all, remind me of all the things that I love in Islam and what I love in being a Muslim.

"But then didn't you say you like being Muslim because there's peace in it?" "Well, I'm looking for it, for the peace in things. That's why I'm a Muslim. It's someone who knows there's more to life than just going through it, letting things happen. I make sense of everything, that there's more to it than just me and my worries, knowing it's all connected."

In this book, she opened my eyes even more to a very serious issue that is Islamophobia. I had seen it before; in Youtube comments of a Muslim Youtuber video, from the stories of my teacher who studied abroad, from people tweets, I've seen pictures of sisters, brothers and children that grow up in war and I was angry for them but when I read this book, I was in Zayneb's head and I realized I was never angry enough. 

The main character, Zayneb, was very expressive of her thoughts on Islamophobia, she was angry for her oppressed community and she actually tried to do something to fight against hateful voices towards Islam. I realized I had been living in a safe bubble among the Muslim community but I never actually play a role in something that can actually help my Muslim brothers and sister. The characters; Zayneb, Kavi, Ayaan and Noemi inspire the readers to be dauntless in voicing their opinion and the truth in a brilliant way, without any violence, proving every anti-Islam assumption wrong.

That itch in your heart was put there by God. Your bravery, too. Don't let anyone squash it- it's like squashing the source of it.

Another thing that I really enjoyed reading in this book was the friendship between the DIS crew and Adam. And also how accepting they were of Zayneb's expressive personality; they accepted her the way she was instead of being weirded out when she sounded her opinion. It still amazed me that friendship can bloom and transcends race, faith, appearance and every other thing that generally identifies a person. I would love this book even more if there was more story about their friendship, though. I'm a sucker for healthy friendships.

And lastly, of course, I love how cute the love story between Zayneb and Adam was. CAN I GET MY OWN ADAM ALREADY? These days, when I read an insta-love story, my brain instantly rejects it but when I was reading this book, it seemed like that part of my brain was switched off. I fell in love with their story as they fell in love with each other. I love how they couldn't resist each other even when they realized they were so different from each other (opposites-attract trope here!) and when they finally accepted their differences, they worked really well together that I wonder if I will ever have that kind of relationship (lolbutseriously).

I also love the author's take on "following the rules" because I've been wanting to see that in books for so long. Adam and Zayneb's love story, while being very cute, is very halal at the same time. The Muslim romance portrayal in this book is so far the best I had read in YA (even the romance I read in Bahasa Melayu are defeated) and I really appreciate it. I never thought that a very good Muslim romance representation and cute romance could ever be in the same book and this book proved me wrong. This book is unapologetically Muslim and I really love this book for that.

My foundation ended at the beginning of May and it took me 4 months to write this full life update post. I love blogging and during the months I was so busy studying, one of the many things that I always thought about was "I am so gonna blog all of these things, I have so many things to talk about" and "I'm gonna reorganize all my blog posts and categorize it nicely" and by the end of August, 3 days before I start studying again, I only wrote 4 posts (and none of them was from my long list of things to talk about) and do none of the reorganizing. Talk about being productive. Every time people at school asked my mom what I was doing at home, she said I was menternak lemak (raising fat) at home and I'm not even a little bit offended because that was exactly what I did during my break lol. I watched tons of TV shows, do some reading (on my bed while snacking) and eat a lot of things (my reason being I can't eat a lot when I go back to uni so I need to eat a lot).

Other things I did:

• Made some money for baking biskut raya in May
• Made some money by teaching 4 classes of Additional Mathematics in July
• Babysit my little brothers.
• Mopping over Hanbin's departure from iKON

• Sleep and eat and sleep and eat.

So that's all I did (that I remember) during my 4 months break before starting my first year of degree. Sure, it wasn't that unproductive but I still feel I could've done more with my break; gain more money, lose weights, anything but being a couch potato. Nevertheless, I enjoyed my break a lot. 

Title: Sadie
Author: Courtney Summers
Publication: September 4th 2018 by Wednesday Books
Pages: 308
Genre: YA, contemporary, mystery, thriller
Reading format: Audiobook (Audible)
Standalone / Series

Sexual abuse, death of a family member, physical violence, drug abuse, murder

It was a terrible thing, sure, but we live in a world that has no shortage of terrible things. You can't stop for all of them.

I stood over her crib and listened to her breathing, watching the rise and fall of her tiny chest. I pressed my palm against it and felt myself through her. She was breathing, alive. And I was too.

I love books. But I also love money. And foods. As a student, I need to always spend my money on food instead of anything else I want. I need to push away my desire to buy new books just to make sure that I will always have my meals of the day, preventing bad gastritis attack. However, does that mean that I need to push away my desire to read new books too?

Title: City of Bones (The Mortal Instruments #1) 
Author: Cassandra Clare
Genre: Young Adult, Paranormal, Fantasy, Romance
Goodreads rating: 4.08
Pages: 485
Publication: 27th May 2007 by Margaret K. McElderry Books
Source: Book Depository | Amazon | BookXcess | Google Books
Reading format: E-book
Review type: Non-spoilery

So, just to make my blog alive again, I thought I can write a list on the books I read last month and my opinions on them.

1. REREAD: Saints and Misfits - S.K. Ali ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Since this book was a reread, I didn't really have a new opinion on it. This book still amazes me the way it did the first time I read it. Janna was an easily likeable character and I could relate a lot to her. The side characters were all loveable and said a lot of wise things. Quoting some reviews I read on it, the book portrays Islam in a really good way and the author tried to tell stories about Islam without shoving it to the readers' faces. I loved this book and forever will.

2. Eliza and Her Monsters - Francesca Zappia ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

THIS BOOK MADE ME CRY BIG TEARS. I put off reading this for too long and honestly, I read this at the perfect time. I don't even know what to say about this book apart from I love it. The talk about fandoms, Eliza's conflict with her family, her conflict with you-know-who, the reason she wrote, her friends, the way she dealt with her problems; these things affected me on a whole another level I never knew a book could ever do.

3. The Witch Doesn't Burn In This One - Amanda Lovelace ⭐⭐⭐⭐

I don't really know how to have an opinion on poetry books so here's my favourite poem from this book:

if 
you can't
root for
yourself

you don't
just
cut down
your tree

in order
to spite
the ground.

no-
you breathe,
step back,
& give yourself

the 
necessary
room
to flourish.

4. The Shadow & Bone trilogy + The Tailor - Leigh Bardugo ⭐⭐⭐⭐ (overall rating)

I had been wanting to read this trilogy for so long, ever since Six of Crows came out and was hyped up everywhere. I have a lot of opinions on this so I will make another post of my opinion on the trilogy.

5. The first four books of The Mortal Instruments series - Cassandra Clare ⭐⭐⭐⭐ (overall rating)

I will make another separate post on my experience reading Cassandra Clare books but what I can say about this series particularly is it does get better. The series gets better. Her writing style, the characters, everything gets better and by the end of the series, I loved all of the characters I never thought I would.

6. Daisy Jones & The Six - Taylor Jenkins Reid ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I felt like I was watching a documentary when I read this (maybe because it is). By the end of this book, all I wanted was for the band to be real just so I could join the fandom. I'm a huge fan of character-driven books so it's no surprise that the thing that I love the most about this book was the character development of all the characters especially the main characters. I cried a lot reading this book (apparently I cried a lot in May) seeing the characters grew to be the best versions of themselves. I cried reading the love stories, cried again when the main character was struggling and cried when it ended.

7. My Plain Jane - Cynthia Hand, Jodi Meadows and Brodi Ashton ⭐⭐⭐⭐

I liked this book but not as much as I loved My Lady Jane... I was kind of disappointed because I was really looking forward to reading this book even before it was published. Maybe I had too much expectation for this book or maybe it was because I didn't really like Jane Eyre, to begin with. The authors communicated with the readers lesser than they did in the first book and the communication was one of the things I really loved in the first book. Nevertheless, I enjoyed reading Jane Eyre's adventure here and I loved that it was not just another plain love story.

8. The Secret History of Us - Jessi Kirby ⭐⭐⭐

I read this because I was intrigued by the synopsis of the book: A story about a girl who lost her memory because of a car accident and she only had the memory up until four years before the accident. Everything changed and it was hard for her to believe that this new girl was her. It was about rediscovering herself. I always thought about what would happen if I ever lose my memory and that was why I was intrigued by this book in the first place. The story was going really well but it was too fast-paced and ended so abruptly. I enjoyed the book but it would be nice if it was longer.

9. Signature Jalanan by Teme Abdullah ⭐⭐⭐⭐

This book reminded me a lot of my high school years. The everyday routine was so similar to my high school daily routine, the characters reminded me of people I had met at high school and when I read this, I couldn't help but imagine that the story sets in my high school. The story Teme wrote this time was a light one and even the messages that were relayed weren't really heavy. Most of the messages that he tried to send were familiar and this book served as a good reminder to me.

10. Save The Date - Morgan Matson ⭐⭐⭐⭐

I enjoyed movies like Cheaper by the Dozen and Father of the Bride so much and since this book reminded me a lot of these movies, I really enjoyed this book too. It was a chaotic story and a very good distraction for me from the chaos that was happening in my own life. It's weird that the chaos in this book amused me a lot because chaos shouldn't amuse anyone but strangely, this book did that to me.

11. And the Mountains Echoed - Khaled Hosseini ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I paused reading this for a few months to focus on my study so by the time I picked it up again, I forgot 30% of what I read. I forgot about how much I enjoyed it but I did remember vividly that I cried reading this book a few months ago. I totally need to reread this again. However, even when I forgot some things that happened in this book, it didn't affect my enjoyment of reading it. Just like Khaled Hosseini's other books, this book was a bittersweet read that gets me to think about the ending at random times.

12. Clockwork Angel - Cassandra Clare ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

This book was my first Cassandra Clare's 5-star book. When I started reading this, I didn't believe Cassandra Clare could write a book like this. I loved it so much. This was the book that made me love the Shadow World so much that I can't help but want to read all The Shadowhunter Chronicles books. The love triangle in this book was so perfect, it's the only love triangle I didn't hate. My further opinion on this book will also be included in my experience of reading Cassandra Clare's books post.

Phew, that was a long post. I posted a lot of my book rants on social media so if you want to know my opinions on book unfiltered, you can follow me on Instagram (@nerdbilla) and Twitter (@nvrdbilla). This is the end of my May Reads post, what was your favourite book of May?