Nabila

Photo by me! Private IG account saw it first. This was a heart-shaped tree somewhere along my jogging route (Me? Jogging? HAHA I know right? But I did jog okay.)

Eyes meet eyes

From across the aisle

A glimpse of recognition in yours

Glints of light in mine

It has been three months

Since we both said anything to each other

There's a bit of awkwardness in the air

And a bit of tension in my heart

I say hello first to break the silence

You say hi back and there's a crack in my wall

Exchanges of how are you

And what are you doing

But never I'm sorry I didn't wish you a happy birthday

Nor I'm sorry I didn't reply to your texts

But it's okay because we're both past it

And I'm no longer twenty-one

So things like that don't phase me anymore

Just a few other formal exchanges to be civil

I don't ask about that girl you've been seeing

And you don't ask about the man I'm not seeing

As we walk towards the exit door of the supermarket

I look at your car that I have involuntarily memorized

As you start the engine and say goodbye

And we say see you like it's inevitable that we'll meet again

But in my head I say farewell forever

I'm leaving our town for good to never come back

You haven't heard about that.

221221/listening to: skinny dipping by sabrina carpenter

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This was written on the 21st of December 2022. This was a personal one, and I'm not doing so okay currently. Hopefully, three months from now I'll see the reasons behind everything and be able to move forward without regret. I'll be starting my internship by the time this is posted, I don't know if I'll be able to write the POV from the three-months-from-now me. I'm planning to say how much of this is true. Who knows, I'll probably say "DUDE THIS EXACT THING HAPPENED".  I miss you, I wish we were something to at least be able to say that to you. How would I be able to say that when what we had was barely a situationship?