Nabila

Obviously, a LOT has changed over a year. Made new friends, lost some friends, felt feelings I've never felt before, got to know sides of me I didn't really realize were there before, got fooled and know better, and made tons of mistakes. At some point this year, I felt like I grew backwards instead of forward, and I don't think that's good. Some mistakes are necessary to make in your life, to mould you into the person that you are meant to be... but I just think some mistakes are way too big. With that being said, life has been great, God has been treating me so well for the past year but I kind of feel... stuck, hence the title of this post. 

Happy New Year everyone, and with the Chinese New Year vibe still around us, Happy Chinese New Year to everyone who is celebrating. Wishing us all health, wealth and all kinds of wellness for this year. To everyone who is beginning a new journey, whether it's health-related (yes let's lose all that weight!), spiritual-related (especially to my Muslim brothers and sisters), or just totally random things, I wish us all the best. May we achieve everything that we want this year.

When you feel stuck, it's easy to feel like your growth is hindered, every day feels the same, and all the same faces you meet every day start to feel... boring. Or maybe it's just me. Especially when you're living in the middle of nowhere, it's easy to feel this way. Don't get me wrong, I love my small-town life. I love that no matter which junction you turn into this town, you'll never get lost. I love that the 99 Speedmart cashiers in my housing area know and recognize me. And dang it, even the district hospital nurses are starting to recognize me. But if I learned one thing from living in my hometown (which was also a small town) throughout my childhood, it's that when everyone in the town knows you or at least anyone who knows you, it tends to suffocate you. 

I wish to feel excited again this year. Instead of anxiety over what is coming, I wish to feel excited instead. I wish to feel like I'm growing forward instead of backwards. I pray that God etches the courage I need onto my soul to end things that I should and begin a new journey.

Happy New Year again, everyone. Cheers!